Natural Bridge to Carrollton, KY (cont.)

Thursday dawned bright and early... or relatively so, anyhow. Handler 2 insisted that, although hiking in the Red River Gorge was originally his idea, he wasn't too keen on it anymore. So, instead of breaking out the backpacks at the butt crack of dawn, we instead headed upstairs to breakfast. There we encountered some very poor pancakes and a pair of aggressive squirrels defending their rights to the birdfeeders.


After being somewhat fed, we headed up to the top of the rock formation that gave our lodging its name: the Natural Bridge.



Yes, we took a chairlift. I told you Handler 2 wasn't feeling well.


The bridge was pretty neat, who knew you could find stuff like this at a state park.

Handler 2 . . .

. . . does not like.

After that, we hopped back into the Sexy Scion and headed north to Lexington and the Kentucky Horse Park! There we saw the famous statue of Man o' War.

This statue of Bask++ in the atrium of the International Museum of the Horse. . .

Ummm....yeah....there's a lot of statues at the Kentucky Horse Park.

And look!! Real horsies, too!

This is Cigar, a famous racehorse that Handler 1 saw in his very last race. He retired to stud and a lifetime of luxury and breeding mares. Until it was found he was sterile and so they sent him to live out his life in a tourist attraction, where he's paraded around several times a day to the polite clapping of appreciative fans.

The Kentucky Horse Park ended up being one horse too many, and we found ourselves in need of a stiff drink. Luckily, not to far down the road was the historic Woodford Reserve bourbon distillery.

We got to take a very informative tour of the site, and actually got to watch the bourbon being made, stilled and bottled.

Handler 2 decided to forego the free shot that came with the tour, and so Handler 1 was forced to take one for the team. Luckily, afterwards, Handler 2 was feeling well enough to drive. We meandered our way down the Old Frankfort Pike back towards Lexington. This is a very scenic drive that took us past a lot of very famous horse farms.

We finally found our hotel in Carrollton and gave a call to the Handlers' old friend Sarah. She was amenable to meeting for drinks, so we all sat around a sports bar catching up and watching some silly (meaning not UofM) hockey team getting their behinds handed to them. Handler 2 took a turn for the worse and it was up to Handler 1 to get them back to the hotel.

I'll be turning the (figurative) reins over to my beloved Mary tomorrow, who attended the Kentucky Oaks in my stead.

Natural Bridge to Carrollton, KY

Sorry for the abbreviated post tonight, folks, but the handlers kept me up late worrying about their Wedding Rings...wait...that's not what you said? The Red Wings? What, by Thor, does that even mean?!

If you ask me I think it was all the fault of that Sarah chick.



She seemed a shady character to me.

Anywhoo, tomorrow Mary Sue will watch the fillies race for the lillies at Churchill Downs. Me, I'm going to stay back in the room and work on perfecting my mint julep recipe.

Quote of the Day:

So can he/she even be neutered/spayed?

Louisville, KY to Natural Bridge State Park

This morning we dragged ourselves out of bed disturbingly early. Sadly, Handler 2 still wasn't feeling all that well, but we had a breakfast date with the Downs.


We arrived at the track and headed up to the posh Aristides room, only to find that we had been moved into the even more posh "Stakes Room". I don't know what the difference is between the two, but apparently it was an upgrade. We were seated at a table with a bunch of folks from Insight who were having a "work breakfast". They all seemed nice. Handler 1 indicated that breakfast was excellent (especially the french toast casserole with syrup and whipped cream!!!), but Handler 2 opted for a bagel, which he couldn't really eat. Oh well, at least we were able to get some cool photos...like the famous twin spires:


And we got to watch a number of the Derby and Oaks contenders work. Here's a shot of Mission Impazible, longshot winner of the Louisiana Derby.

Here's Endorsement, who unfortunately, came out of the work with an injury and will have to skip the Derby. But it was an awesome shot.

After we watched the pretty horses running around the track for awhile, we explored the stands a little.

We also took a turn around the Kentucky Derby museum, recently renovated after being drowned last August. We got to see a number of interesting artifacts. Oh, and this guy:

That's Chip Wooley, and if you just said "Who?", you're no worse off than Handler 2. He's the trainer of Mine That Bird, last years' Derby winner.

Having perused Churchill Downs for as long as its parking Nazis would allow us (just a note, but what kind of people make you pay $45 a ticket for breakfast, then charge you $10 for parking and tell you that you must be out of there by 10am?), we returned to our hotel to change into more comfortable clothes. Plus, Handler 2 needed a refill on his meds.

"Oh, if my dad could see me now."

Then it was back on the road, heading south to:

Mary Sue and I are on honeymoon!

Although we didn't embark on this adventure expecting to see lots of wildlife, we did get a glimpse of some wild turkeys.

For some reason, whenever the handlers saw one of these bird they just started mumbling something about "bad college experiences".

We grabbed some food at the Mammoth Cave Hotel cafe. Handler 2 was finally feeling well enough to force down some food, and ordered the chili. It had spaghetti noodles in it...and the less said about that the better. Let's look at the pretty cave instead!

See, wasn't that fun?

After finishing our tour of the depths we set out across the great state of Kentucky, through the heart of race horse breeding country, to the Natural Bridge State Park. Handler 2, being on the codeine, couldn't drive, and as such, Handler 1 was forced into the position of driver (which she rather disliked). Meanwhile, Handler 2 was thrust into the temporary position of navigator. However, after a while he found himself unable to speak, which made it very difficult for him to give directions to Handler 1. This resulted in him attempting to direct Handler 1 through the use of hand gestures and the holding up of fingers (to indicate the number of the upcoming exits).

"What is that supposed to mean?! You know I'm driving and can't look at you, right? One? Eleven? One hundred and eleven? Exit 111?!"

Let's not belabor that point. Kentucky, apparently, knows how to do state parks right. Not only does this one have some nice trails, a pool, and mini-golf, but the rooms have balconies.

There's a little dining room that serves slightly better than cafeteria fare, but it overlooks a promenade with bird feeders. The handlers spent dinner watching hummingbirds and cardinals. Their server (who Handler 1 thought looked like Jessica Simpson, Handler 2 disagrees) tried to get Handler 2 to try a bunch of cough remedies she'd used to help her own recent cold. Luckily, Handler 2 was feeling quite a bit better by then, so instead we all retired to our room for the evening.

Quote of the Day:

"Ziggy is predicting my chances of being well enough to hike tomorrow at 20%."

Land of Louis

So we made it without any mishaps to our nightly abode in Louisville, KY. Although the sign out front proclaims that it is the "Best" hotel in the "West", it seems fairly normal to me. We entertained ourselves during the trip down by listening to some hockey game or other. It wasn't a Michigan game, so I could have cared less, but the handlers sure seemed pleased by the outcome.

Handler 2 is still under the weather, but handling things as best he can. He had best get better soon, for tomorrow we kick off a day of touring with an early morning visit to Churchill Downs!

Quote of the Day:

Handler 1- Who knew there was a "plastic" outlet. For all your plastic needs, I suppose. And also, Jesus is the Answer.

Handler 2- What was the question?

T-Minus 6 Hours

Well, we're all packed up and ready to go! Unfortunately, Handler 2 is not feeling his best, but the show...err...adventure must go on! We'll be heading south from Detroit this evening to our reserved location in dowtown Louisville. Pictures and thought provoking blog posts to follow...

A small introduction . . .

I thought I'd take a moment to introduce you all to my darling wife Mary Sue the Gnome!


Isn't she lovely?

Bo Does the Derby

So the handlers tell me that we will soon be heading off on another road trip adventure. Although I'm assured that this trip will be less trying than our previous 17 day romp through the American west, I'm sure the handlers will find something to hinder our progress along the way. Let's just hope they don't get stuck in any more slot canyons.

Here's the itinerary:

April 27- Leave the great state of Michigan and travel to Louisville, KY
April 28- Have breakfast at the historic Churchill Downs, see Mammoth Cave, and bed down at Natural Bridge State Park
April 29- Hike the Red River Gorge recreation area, visit the Kentucky Horse Park, travel the scenic "Old Frankfort Pike", and finish up in Carrollton, KY (our home base for the next few days)
April 30- The Kentucky Oaks (with special guest appearance by my lovely new wife, Mary Sue!)
May 1- The Kentucky Derby!!
May 2- Head back home to the mitten state

There are some other things we'd like to fit in, time permitting (a bourbon distillery tour, the creationist museum), but we'll just have to play it by ear.

Oh, and by the way, I apparently now have a "faces-book" page, for which I am supposed to try and encourage "fans". So fine, I did it. You have been suitably encouraged.