Crosses or Porn

You may see this indicated on the right and be wondering what on earth it's referring to. Well, it's a game, invented by my handlers for play during long boring car rides. Sometimes referred to by its alternate name, "Porn or Crosses", it's so much more engaging than traditional forms of road trip games that involve looking for license plates from different states or beating the stuffing out of your seatmate every time a Volkswagon Beetle passes by.

Here are the rules in their most simplistic format:

Along the highways of America are many bilboards, often advertising strip clubs and other adult entertainments. There also tend to be billboards advertising messages of a religious nature or, alternatively (and more commonly in the South) sets of three crosses erected so as to be visible from the highway. Upon viewing either of these types of curiousities the observer is to point them out to the other occupants of the car. The first person to do so earns a point. Ties are thrown out. Points are cumulative throughout the trip. Note, Crosses or Porn cannot be played if there is only one person awake in the car (hopefully the driver), as a player's "find" must be confirmed.

House rules: Which begs the question...can there really be 'house rules' for a game you invented?

Actual buildings housing adult entertainment (as opposed to just advertisements for the same) count. So do adverts for adult books and/or video stores. Churches do not count, nor do the signs with pithy little sayings often found outside of churches. Religious advertisements may or may not count (for instance, white type on black background "messages from God" don't count, however, giant likenesses of Jesus asking whether or not you are on the right road do earn a point) and must be put to a vote. If there are only two players and they disagree on whether an item counts for a point, the default answer is no. The players may unanimously vote to allow a sighting to count for a point despite the fact that it has no adult or religious connotations, so long as the item in question is amusing.

Other rules:

Play Crosses or Porn responsibly. If you're paying so much attention to the billboards on the side of the road that you don't realize you've just passed a cop going 85 mph, then you are not playing responsibly. This goes for Precious Moments signs as well.

No cheating. Cheaters suck. If you know you didn't really tie your opponent, then admit it. It's not worth an argument, in any case. Come on people, it's a game about picking out funny things along the highway, not life or death!

Have fun! If at any time Crosses or Porn becomes tedious, the players should jointly agree not to play until everyone feels like doing so again.