Bo the Gnome Does the Derby

Hello again everyone, I'm back from my hiatus and here to tell you all about my adventures at the Kentucky Derby. Rain and thunderstorms had been predicted all week, but the weather was so nice all of Friday that we had some hopes the hurricane would hold off for a bit. However, we were woken up to the sound of rain pounding on our hotel roof the night before and knew it was not to be.

Given the stress of the previous day, everyone was moving a little bit slower that morning. Handler 2 was finally feeling a bit better, which you can tell because he was willing to take silly pictures of himself showing the sunburn he'd received the day before.


Handler 1, meanwhile, decided she needed at least one nice photo of herself in her Derby outfit, since she was probably going to spend the rest of the day under a raincoat.


It was certainly more dreary at the track that day, but people were still there to celebrate. Crazy hats were out in force.

And the racing went on in the slop.

Here's a shot from the famous Churchill Downs paddock showing one of the entrants having his tattoo checked.

And this is the Woodford Reserve Turf Classic, a mile and an eighth race on the turf for which Handler 1 made a pretty good call on the winner, General Quarters.

By the end of the day everyone was a bit soaked.

Also, frustrated. See, the Oaks had been crowded the day before, but today was very crowded. Not only that, but everyone was trying to hide under the stands out of the rain and that made for even more congestion. At one point, Handler 2 decided he was sick and tired of sitting out in the rain and wanted to get under some cover for a while. Handler 1, having just come out from the stands thought this was probably a bad idea, but she wanted nachos...so they went in search of nachos and never came back!

Okay, well no, they came back, but it was a near thing. After taking just short of forever to find and purchase the nachos, the handlers attempted to make their way back to their seats, only to find themselves thwarted at every turn. I'd say it was like trying to swim upstream, but that would imply that the crowd was moving purposefully in at least one direction, and this was not the case. At one point the handlers found themselves in the position of trying to cross the path of the mass of unwashed folks heading to the tunnel to the infield and found it nearly impossible. Luckily, a nice national guardsman saw that Handler 1 was carrying nachos and, stating that it was of utmost importance to protect the nachos, cleared a path for the handlers across the mob.

Thanks random guardsman guy!

This, sadly, was not the only annoying event of the day. After the 10th race, Handler 1 staked out a place for herself on the rail to take photos, and this is where things started getting nasty. See, there was nothing that said the rail places belonged to the people in the front row (who could, of course, stand on their seats). In fact, one usher came by and said that very thing to some people who were complaining about others (not just the handlers) standing at the rail. There were words, mainly between some very unpleasant people and one of the grandhandlers, but it seemed to die down after a while. The handlers started talking to some of the real photographers on the other side of the rail, the rain slowed to a stop and the sun looked to peak out for a bit.

This is when the badness started.

Handler 1 had been studiously protecting her camera all day. She'd taken it out only once or twice when there was no rain. She'd kept it under her poncho and in its protective case. She'd changed out her kit lens for the massive Sweetness under the cover of the stands to make sure everything stayed as dry as possible, then slipped camera and lens not only under her poncho, but under her coat as well. At about 10 minutes to post she pulled out the camera to meter the starting gate and the camera would not turn on.

It just would not turn on. At all. And right at that moment some other usher came by who had the opinion that the rail did, in fact, belong to the people with the very front seats. Faced with the double-whammy of a contradicting usher and a broken camera, the handlers headed back to their seats and Handler 1 tried desperately to get something to work on her blasted machine. Nope, nada. She tried different batteries, checked the card, switched the lenses . . . nothing worked! So, at that point she had to admit defeat and, with tears in her eyes not just from hearing them play My Old Kentucky Home, she deicded to make do with what she could using Handler 2's point and shoot.

She managed to find an empty spot in the first row of seats that afforded her a bit of a view (she wouldn't have been able to see anything from back where her real seats were) and managed to get these few pictures of the race:

They're off!

Into the stretch the first time we see the grey speedster Conveyance bounding up to take the lead from Super Saver on the inside.

Turning for home, and considerably more covered in mud, we can see that Super Saver has again taken the lead on the rail and is gallantly fighting off the 3 horse, Nobles Promise. Super Saver would, of course, go on to win it, cementing himself as a true "mudder" and winning a place in horse racing history.

After the race was over, everyone headed back to their cars, past the very muddy, very inebriated, infield patrons. Getting out of the area was troublesome as there was an accident on the freeway right by the Churchill Downs exit. It looked as though everyone was going to be late for their dinner reservations and so a call was made to the restaurant to warn them.

Dinner at Bourbon's Bistro was considerably better than the meal the previous night and almost (not quite) made up for all the bad stuff that had happened during the day. Handler 2 actually managed to eat something. Handler 1 got creme brulee for dessert (which always makes her happy). And the drive back to historic Carrollton was blissfully uneventful.

Quote(s) of the Day:

"I'm not sure the cool souvenier glass is worth having to suffer through another one of those atrocities." - Handler 1 on the classic Mint Julep

"I like the juleps."

"They're crap."

"They're just like what I drink normally."

"Then what you drink normally is crap."

- Handler 1 and Grandhandler Betty on the relative worth of the classic Mint Julep

"Well that was one of the most surreal experiences in my life. Imagine a public restroom, much like those at Michigan stadium, full of women in fancy dresses and huge hats, all carrying expensive drinks. I wanted to take a photo, but I thought that would not be well received."

"Imagine your nightmare scenario for this trip. Well, it just happened."